Funeral Words

Van Pine Quote

“The meaning of life and death is different...Many funerals in the past were to recognize that which never could be, because it was the death of a child. And today, we’re recognizing that which was.” -- Vanderlyn Pine

100 years ago, funeral homes buried THREE TIMES AS MANY CHILDREN under the age of 14, as adults over the age of 65. No wonder the customs need to change.

Read More at: Funeral Wire -- Death by the Numbers

Lots of Questions

I don't know how best to categorize this posting. I will only say for now that the presence of a new acquisition company in the northeast came to my attention yesterday. They call themselves the New England Memorial Group, have the following web address (http://www.newenglandmemorialgroup.com/) which contains a Boston based phone number and a link to send email.

Out of curiosity, I gave them a call yesterday to see what was happening with this group that no one seemed to know anything about, but which had sent out some mailings and presented themselves on the web as a "quality alternative to the national consolidation companies".

"Chad" called me this morning and the phone call did not go particularly well. I tried to ask about his company and what he had going. In response I got what I consider to be vague answers about being in central New Hampshire. After a little more questioning he told me about having a facility in Manchester but then would not tell me which one. At the end, I asked if he would at least give me his last name. Instead, he ended the conversation and promptly hung up the phone.

I don't know what they have in mind for their company but please do your due diligence if you find yourself dealing with this group. They did not leave a particularly comforting first impression with me.

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Post Script: I do not know this with absolute certainly, but it seams likely that the "Chad" I spoke with earlier today is  Chad Corbin who owns the Goodwin Funeral Home in Manchester, NH. Here's the website: http://www.goodwinfh.com/staff.php.

If anyone out there can verify this or has other pertinent information, please let me know. Thanks.

Just a Riot

I have wanted to try embedding a YouTube video to see how it would work on my blog. This one is just made me laugh and I thought I would pass it along. Enjoy!

       

Great Little Memoir

We all can use a little inspriation once in a while to help tell the story of someone's life. Here's a well written, tender hearted and brief (78 pages) memoir composed by a longtime staff writer of The New Yorker about his wife, whom he obviously loved dearly. A beautiful tribute and well worth your time.

                                 

Name Tags Continued

A couple of further notes regarding name tags. First, we have had a visit from Joseph Porcelli himself, the founder of the Name Tag for a Year project. He commented as follows:

"I'd suggest having people put their name, relation, and one word that best describes who the person was to them. This would then invite conversation afording opportunities to share, grieve, and celebrate the persons life."

Also, I have posted a message on one of the national grief support message boards to see what other feedback should arrise on the topic of name tags, positive or negative. So far, one woman has commented that having lived away for 15 years at the time of her brother's memorial service, she would have very much appreciated the added touch of name tags.

In addition, and this I found very interesting. In the same postings I have seen a call for an "escape strategy". From what I can gather, these were relatively young deaths with large crowds but no burial or other committal process. I know for many years at gravesites I would tell those gathered to give the family a few private moments before they had to leave the grave. It would seem that the same process needs to be included with memorial type services as well. Sometimes the crush of people gets to be too much.

BT

Name Tag for a Year

I heard this project mentioned on the radio the other day and I finally had a chance to look up the website. Joseph Porcelli made a committment to wear a name tag every where he goes for an entire year and write about his experiences.

I wonder whether this will catch on and I wonder whether we at funeral homes should encourage the use of name tags for our families. This might help break the ice and improve the quality of the calling hours and funeral experiences.

Name Tag For a Year

Urns in the News

The New York Times has a feature on their website regarding unique artwork urns along with some of the usual demographic data about the increases in the rates of cremation.

NYTimes -- In Death as In Life, a Personalized Space (requires free registration to view)

Some beautiful examples pictured. Check it out.

Cancer Deaths on the Decline

Just saw this posted on the MSNBC website. Very very good news, at the same time, another trend among many which impacts how our funeral homes function.

MSNBC -- Cancer deaths decline for second straight year

Cut to the Chase

Great Title!!! Also looks like a great book. For those who want to spruce up their lives without the abusive rhetoric of Larry Winget, let me suggest the following:

Cut to the Chase: and 99 Other Rules to Liberate Yourself and Gain Back the Gift of Time

Written by Stuart R. Levine, a former CEO of the Dale Carnegie organization, he takes a fresher, quieter but no less direct approach so you can "Liberate Yourself and Gain Back the Gift of Time".

From time to time I will add some of his 99 rules to the contents of my site. If you want to get a head start, though, click the link and purchase a copy for yourself.

Here's a sample:   100.A bottle of wine, a cut flower.

"The intense discipline of staying focused on the goals in your life and career will result in more time for yourself, your family, and the things you enjoy. That is the payoff of cutting to the chase...

...I love the feeling of being close to nature, the power and beauty of it. I like the fact that the garden changes every day. I try to observe those changes as they occur. I can see when a rose is about to bloom. I try to make time each day to watch it unfold. When the first flowers come out in the spring, I wash out all the vases in the house and cut flowers to put around my house. It's my gift to myself and to my wife, Harriet. We work hard, and these are the moments that we worked for. Time at my home with my wife and my kids when they're home from college. Time to care for ourselves.

Be mindful of these moments. Cherish them. They will renew you and help you sustain the intense discipline necessry to thrive in your career--and hopefully other parts of your life."

Dozens of great, simple, real world concepts to improve your focus on getting the RIGHT things done, quickly, clearly and completely. Fresh and simple but also deeply challenging. Definitely worth the look.

Remember Larry???

                                    

Larry Winget has made two appearances on the big stage of the National Funeral Director's Convention, always to grand applause and plent of after meeting "buzz". He takes a no nonsense, personal accountability approach to business and personal success. He JUST came out with a new book. If you need to shake off the winter doldrums and kick your work and personal life up a notch, he's a great place to start.

Click above and pick up a copy today.

[Note: Funeral Words receives a small commission for any book purchased through our links. Every dollar helps defray the costs of making this site happen. Thanks very much, BT]