The New York Times sets the national standard for obituaries and in one form or another their editorial process, decisions and style trickles down to the rest of the country. If you work hard on your obits or have a particular interest in the history and style of obituary writing, let me recomment a visit to the link below.
Bill McDonald, the current obituaries editor at The Times, maintains a lengthy "ask the editor" blog on the NYT website. Keep in mind you will need to create a user name and password (totally free) to view these pages. Totally worth it though.
New York Times Obituary Editor Answers Reader Questions
Check it out!
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