Heritage Retrieval

Strange what can happen when two words come together for the first time such as “heritage retrieval” in my earlier entry. I have thought of it often since and believe that we as funeral professionals have an opportunity here to make a difference in people’s lives.

What do I mean by heritage retrieval?

In short I see an increasing number of people coming through the doors of our funeral homes with no context. Everything in life has become so fresh and NOW! that we do not know where each of us has come from and that makes for a bland, if not meaningless, funeral. Without shared experience, without shared history, without common cause or at least the opportunity to know that common cause exists, then a funeral becomes empty and disconnected from the heart and spirit of community.

I think some of us do some of this some of the time. We can all point to the occasional funeral where the creative sparks flew and the special pieces came together. But we must become a more complete and dedicated resource for the family and just as importantly to the people who come from outside the family, providing the information, images, movies, stories, objects, whatever it takes to help everyone remember and know what the world looked like, what was going on as that person now gone, lived his or her life. Bring the background story together. Collect the archives. Know the where’s and why’s of the areas and times of a person’s life. Give that information to the family. Give that information to the visitors and guests. Help the people involved find and create meaning within themselves.

Life has so much richness. So many ups and downs, transitions and challenges, ins and outs, a plastic corner on a casket or even a collage of photographs cannot convey all those subtleties of life’s experience which belong as part of the funeral experience. We need more and we need it now.

What could heritage retrieval look like?

Here’s a few quick thoughts. At the very least, a sheet of paper printed out ahead of time which shows newspaper headlines from key dates in that person’s life. What went on the day they were born or the day they enlisted in the Army or got married or retired? This could even happen as part of a website, so that the obituary becomes greatly enhanced by the context of history. How about a partnership with the local historical society to bring in objects of the time and put them on display as part of the funeral home setting? What about having someone on staff who can go to a family home and gather and document some key objects that help tell the story of someone’s life, sort of a visual eulogy or personal history? That’s probably too much for most funeral homes but what about encouraging the family to tell their story with objects and words, provide them with some tools and examples to help them start the process? Possibilities abound.

We have recently seen articles about a man embalmed and set out at the funeral home in his favorite recliner with the team jersey for his clothing and a TV remote in his hand. Certainly this qualifies as providing context. I suppose many laughed at the sight. Obviously a family unafraid to express themselves. Yet for many this might be too much information. Nevertheless, some context, some heritage, thoughtfully gathered and presented might just make the difference between a bland, never to be repeated gathering and one that touches people down deep and leaves them with the desire to remember well, remember again and return to the funeral professional for help.

Why go to all this trouble you ask? Because funerals must have meaning, particularly for the people coming in from outside the immediate family. Lose meaning and the people go away. If the people go away, then our families, no matter how dedicated to holding a meaningful funeral, will lose the ability to justify the time and expense for a tiny group of people. We have to help the family “gather a crowd” or our purpose, particularly our purpose as a place to gather people, will wither away and die.

That does not need to happen if we keep adding valuable and meaningful content to the services we provide.

BT

Comments

[Lynn M. Kelly]

Hi Bt,
I love the idea of involving the local Historical Society with creating meaningful "Period" funerals...we live in a town with huge amounts of history and it would be a plus to the family and guests to give them a glimpse of where.when the deceased "became"...thanks for sharing... I love your website.